Writer's Block: Bump In The Night

Sun, 22 Jul 2007 06:14:35 GMT

What are you afraid of?

I'm afraid of myself. i'm afraid of all the walls i put up crashing down leaving me with nothing. my life is in pieces, and i've got to put them together somehow. but the reason its in pieces is because i made it all this way. my heart was broken and like a complete and utter fool, i let that eat away at my life until i turned into a bitter, jaded, woman. a woman, who not so conveniently, lost most of herself.
and now what do i see when i look in the mirror? i still see a fucked up kid who wants to curl into fetal position and cry until mom comes to pick her up and tell her everything is going to be all right. only it won't be; life isn't that simple after all. you have a path that you get placed on. there are infinite numbers of forks along that path. and only god knows what you'll do and where you'll go. on one hand, i like to think that even God stands by to see what we'll do; after all, human behavior is the one thing that remains ever elusive from the grasp of common understanding. we are the only creatures whose actions cannot be explained by mere science alone.
and now, we have me sitting here, trying to figure out the dregs of my life. realizing that while i fucked up, i still have a shot at redemption. how odd that it was one of my mistakes that sent me that swift, hard kick in the ass i needed to get a jump start on finding myself again?
i'm afraid of everything i was, am, and could be. yeah, embrace your past, live your present, and become you future...this is me ranting. i came here to find a way to unload before i went insane with what i planned on doing.
who the hell converts to a religion after they've started college?!

brokenlockheart

Writer's Block: Bump In The Night